Jie,
Tomorrow would be my last day of a 5 day holiday. I had planned for a lot to be done these 5 days but ended up only with these
Day 1:
Spring cleaning the house
Sorting yours and Charlene's old clothing and labeling them properly
Cooked dinner for mama, ah kong, ah ku & ah Kim
Day 2:
Trip to PD
Day 3:
Spent a whole day at mama's house & celebrated mummy's birthday
Browsed your old pictures
Day 4:
Today was spent taking care of Charlene who was down with fever.
Cooked dinner for mama, ah kong & popo
Day 5:
I guess would be the same as Day 4
I was thinking of you so badly when I sorted your clothings. Your tiny shoes, your jumpers..I smelled each and everyone of them as if they were you. Then when Charlene asked to see your photographs, I could stop crying when I saw your pictures. I missed you so badly. Charlene caught me crying and asked why. Being innocent she said "Oh..you missed Charmaine jie jie ah". I could only tell her yes I do. I have to tell you that you have an amazing sister who is able to console mummy and share my grief. She said "I also miss Charmaine jie jie" & "You don't cry, I saying you"...
Mummy thanked God for sending Charlene to me. Her words are so comforting and encouraging. I knew from then on that she has grown up and mummy will be sharing a lot more of your stories with her. She's going to know and love you more.
Till I write again, good night...I love you.
Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
Sunday, 11 August 2013
Saturday, 10 August 2013
Mummy's Birthday
Jie,
It's mummy's birthday today. I miss you. Wondering how today would be if you are still around. Charlene surprised me this morning with a playdoh cake and wished mummy 'Happy Birthday'. Where ever you are, I am very sure you would be wishing me too. I know you would. It's been more than one and a half years since you left. My heart still aches and I still cry when I think of you. Mummy miss you so much and I promise you that I shall remember you always. I love you my precious Charmaine, my precious Lim Li En, my precious kache, my precious baby....
It's mummy's birthday today. I miss you. Wondering how today would be if you are still around. Charlene surprised me this morning with a playdoh cake and wished mummy 'Happy Birthday'. Where ever you are, I am very sure you would be wishing me too. I know you would. It's been more than one and a half years since you left. My heart still aches and I still cry when I think of you. Mummy miss you so much and I promise you that I shall remember you always. I love you my precious Charmaine, my precious Lim Li En, my precious kache, my precious baby....
Saturday, 13 April 2013
Jie, mummy miss you
I've been missing you a lot for the past few weeks. I was very sure that I had you in my dreams a few weeks ago. And..I remember so clearly that you asked for panties when I visit you for the all soul's day prayers. That week, I was emotional. I just couldn't stop crying when I went to buy the panties. I miss you.....
Saturday, 16 February 2013
Jie, Gong Xi Fa Cai
Jie,
It's been some time since mummy came to your blog. I have been very busy with the new year preparation & then all the cooking during the new year. This year around, I braved myself to celebrate the new year. There were lots of shopping with ah ma & ah kong & of course mei mei too...
Of late, I find myself talking & mingling more often with children your age. I always remind myself that if you are still around, you would be like them. First, Xin Yen jie jie, then Chloe mei mei....how I wish you are like them.
It's our 2nd CNY without you. I hope you do love the Mickey & Minnie Ang Pow I left at the memorial park.. Happy Chinese New Year my darling...
It's been some time since mummy came to your blog. I have been very busy with the new year preparation & then all the cooking during the new year. This year around, I braved myself to celebrate the new year. There were lots of shopping with ah ma & ah kong & of course mei mei too...
Of late, I find myself talking & mingling more often with children your age. I always remind myself that if you are still around, you would be like them. First, Xin Yen jie jie, then Chloe mei mei....how I wish you are like them.
It's our 2nd CNY without you. I hope you do love the Mickey & Minnie Ang Pow I left at the memorial park.. Happy Chinese New Year my darling...
Tuesday, 1 January 2013
Happy New Year 2013
Jie,
It's 1 Jan 2013 today. We have not done mush to usher the new year, just wishing everyone the best of health. If you were still with us, on the very last few days of the year, I would be silently praying for you to live on to see the new year.
In 2010, we welcomed the new year at our condo in KL. I could still remember when the clock struck 12, we took pictures with you & congratulated you for moving on to a new year.
Well, last night I whispered into Charlene's year and wished her Happy New Year & May You Be Blessed With Great Health Throughout The Year.
I wonder how would it be if you were with us last night....
It's 1 Jan 2013 today. We have not done mush to usher the new year, just wishing everyone the best of health. If you were still with us, on the very last few days of the year, I would be silently praying for you to live on to see the new year.
In 2010, we welcomed the new year at our condo in KL. I could still remember when the clock struck 12, we took pictures with you & congratulated you for moving on to a new year.
Well, last night I whispered into Charlene's year and wished her Happy New Year & May You Be Blessed With Great Health Throughout The Year.
I wonder how would it be if you were with us last night....
Thursday, 13 December 2012
Angel Annabel
For the past few days, I have been checking out Annabel's blog. She was very sick, her lungs were getting weaker & I had a feeling that she would leave. When I went to her blog yesterday and read ' Sweet Annabel gained her angel wings', I couldn't stop crying...
1 year 7 days after losing Charmaine, the same feeling came back to me. I felt lost, as though losing Charmaine another time. Annabel's looks kind of resemble Charmaine; especially when she frowned. I don't know if Trisomy 18 babies do look a like, but Charmaine's face keep coming up to me when I looked at Annabel's pictures.
I recalled the day when you left us, I recalled how I shouted for you and bathe you for the last time and how you looked so pale in the mortuary. 3 December 2011 flashed back as though it just happened. Your papa gave me a good hug yesterday night and reminded me that you are in a better place now. He asked 'Do you want to see Charmaine suffer any longer'?
Of course not.. At the age of 4, you should now be attending pre school, going for music lessons, singing and running around. You should have been with us when we travelled to Hong Kong Disneyland last month. You should be shouting in glee when you see Mickey and Minnie Mouse and asking us to buy you those cute Disney merchandise.
Instead, we were there only with Charlene. We were happy with Charlene, of course. But, there was emptiness in us, more so as that day was your 4th Birthday. I silently sang 'Happy Birthday' to you and when I related this to your Papa, he told me he did the same too.
Jie, be assured that you always hold a special place in our hearts. You may not be with us now, but we shall meet again some day. While waiting for us, go play & make friends with your angel friends. I am sure you are now playing happily there...
1 year 7 days after losing Charmaine, the same feeling came back to me. I felt lost, as though losing Charmaine another time. Annabel's looks kind of resemble Charmaine; especially when she frowned. I don't know if Trisomy 18 babies do look a like, but Charmaine's face keep coming up to me when I looked at Annabel's pictures.
I recalled the day when you left us, I recalled how I shouted for you and bathe you for the last time and how you looked so pale in the mortuary. 3 December 2011 flashed back as though it just happened. Your papa gave me a good hug yesterday night and reminded me that you are in a better place now. He asked 'Do you want to see Charmaine suffer any longer'?
Of course not.. At the age of 4, you should now be attending pre school, going for music lessons, singing and running around. You should have been with us when we travelled to Hong Kong Disneyland last month. You should be shouting in glee when you see Mickey and Minnie Mouse and asking us to buy you those cute Disney merchandise.
Instead, we were there only with Charlene. We were happy with Charlene, of course. But, there was emptiness in us, more so as that day was your 4th Birthday. I silently sang 'Happy Birthday' to you and when I related this to your Papa, he told me he did the same too.
Jie, be assured that you always hold a special place in our hearts. You may not be with us now, but we shall meet again some day. While waiting for us, go play & make friends with your angel friends. I am sure you are now playing happily there...
Monday, 3 December 2012
3 December 2012 - It's been a year since you left us
It's 8:10am now
Last year around this time, Papa was asking me 'How come Jie is sleeping with her eyes half open'. I knew it was not right for you to sleep this way and when I went to check you out in your 'sarong', I knew you went back to God....I could still remember, how I bathe you for the last time and took our last pictures before we headed to the hospital.
For the past few days, I was preparing myself for today. I don't know if I could take it, if I would pull through today well. I thought of skipping work, but then I knew I shouldn't escape. For as long as I live, there is always going to be a 3 December. This day shall be remember as a day where you are freed from your suffering, a day where God takes you home to be with him.
Although I still cry a lot when I think of you, I know you are at a better place now. Rest in peace my darling.... Mummy loves you.
Last year around this time, Papa was asking me 'How come Jie is sleeping with her eyes half open'. I knew it was not right for you to sleep this way and when I went to check you out in your 'sarong', I knew you went back to God....I could still remember, how I bathe you for the last time and took our last pictures before we headed to the hospital.
For the past few days, I was preparing myself for today. I don't know if I could take it, if I would pull through today well. I thought of skipping work, but then I knew I shouldn't escape. For as long as I live, there is always going to be a 3 December. This day shall be remember as a day where you are freed from your suffering, a day where God takes you home to be with him.
Although I still cry a lot when I think of you, I know you are at a better place now. Rest in peace my darling.... Mummy loves you.
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