Jie,
Just as I wanted to write to you about mummy expecting a baby, I now have to break the news to you that our baby had stopped growing at 9 weeks. I was devastated when Dr Andy said baby has no heartbeat. I heard the heartbeat on a Doppler at 8 weeks 1 day & Dr said baby was growing well. How can this happen? I chose to remove our baby at Columbia Asia and to seek a second opinion. Dr described the pregnancy as non viable due to abdominal hernia.
After coping with your death, mummy is now challenged with another loss. Why us again? Why the world is so mean to us that we have to witness your sufferings and now to do a medical abortion. Charlene was so sad yesterday she cried non stop asking for her baby to return. Although baby was still in me yesterday, I had to lie to her that there wasn't any.
I checked into the hospital this morning to start the abortion. Was crying like mad when Dr inserted the medication in me. The pregnancy though ended a week ago, shall officially end soon. I cried and cried...
In the afternoon the cramping and pain became more intense. I didn't know when the remains were officially expelled but when Dr came to check at around 8pm she took out the remains and confirmed all is over. I saw the fetus..I don't know why I dared to see. I was hoping to see a fully formed fetus but I saw only blood clot.
Mummy felt very empty now..baby has gone to a better place. Our dreams of having a new addition is shattered. Charlene's dream of being a big sister is shattered..I don't know how long Mummy will take to recover from this loss but I assured papa that I will be able to get through this fast.
Mummy hope that Jie can bring our baby along with you in heaven. Till we meet again, good bye. I love you
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