Jie,
I have not updated your blog for a long time. Alot has changed in our family. Mummy gave birth to didi Lucas on 25th October. What was meant to be a joyful event turned into days of sorrow and challenges.
Lucas was born termed at 37 weeks 6 days with hylane membrane disease. Mummy had gestational diabetes and this is likely the cause of the under developed lungs. If someone is to be blamed, that should be me. Had I control my diet even more, will didi still suffer the same faith. I don't know..there will be no answer.
As I am writing this, I am watching over didi in the hospital. Today marks 23 days of stay in the NICU. He was intubated and put on ventilation for 11 days and put on step down process. First was duopap, then CPAP, then high flow nasal prong, nasal prong air and now nasal prong bubbles.
Just like you, didi is a real fighter. From having tubes all over to now the nasal prong....I must say, he has improved a lot. If you are able to hear mummy's prayers, please watch over didi and help him breathe without support. We've been trying on him but he cannot be weaned off yet. Mummy wants him to get home soon...it's been very tough on me these 23 days.
I repeatedly ask the same question I asked when you were diagnosed with Edwards Syndrome 8 years ago. Why me? And...again there will be no answer. All that I wanted was to get a little one for Charlene so that she will not be so lonely.
Since your passing, she is consiously aware of your existence. She is unhappy being alone but tells everyone that she still has you. And when she knows mummy is expecting, she was thrilled. We didnt expected this outcome..
Jie, do your best and be didi and Charlene's guardian angel. Put miracle on didi to help his lungs heal completely so that we can get home.
When didi has grown up a bit, mummy will bring him to visit you. I promise...for now, do watch over him.
Missing you forever..
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